The secret of practice is to actually just do it and not allow the mind to trick you into giving up. Consistently of effort is how to build up the conviction that our practice of love and awareness is the principle movement in life that has true value.
To be consistent and not feel disappointment with how you perceive your practice is progressing, you need to stop demanding that you are suddenly a perfect being, never making mistakes or having uncomfortable thoughts, but being at peace with the mind as it arises and passes away, and to live with love and awareness as best you can in each moment.
Don’t make excuses to justify poor behavior but see each incident as an opportunity to develop the intuitive understanding of the value of what you do.
Of course, it’s not always easy.
When the first days of excitement for this new meditation venture have passed we may develop a very different relationship to our practice. However, this is when the real value of training comes to the forefront - to just do it no matter what the voices in your head say!
Sometimes it’s boring, sometimes tiring, sometimes just not interesting enough, but this is just the Mara mind telling you to do something that is superficially more gratifying but will always keep you tied to the world, like a calf to its mother.
The Dhamma response then, is simple, don’t listen and do what you’re supposed to do in both the sitting practice and relating to the world to the best of your ability.
This is not a race or a contest, and the only pressure you might feel, is coming from you. Pure Dhamma is a gentle, loving way. A way to allow the old habits of mind to arise, to see them, know them and release their power harmlessly in to the universe. It is called ‘the way of letting go.’
Often it is only our own high expectations of ourselves that take us to a sense of failure, but you must remember, if Dhamma was so easy, everyone would be awakened!
So relax a little bit and take one moment at a time. Don’t put yourself under pressure to be the perfect being you have imagined yourself to be and remember that Love begins with ourselves.
Our Dhamma journey is long and it needs a loving patience and a determined attitude to see it through to the end.
May all beings be happy.